Post by woodyz on Mar 21, 2018 13:19:30 GMT -7
ADULT... is a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in
conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
A BANKER is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An ECONOMIST is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A STATISTICIAN is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
An ACTUARY is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. (Laurence J. Peter)
A PROGRAMMER is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
A MATHEMATICIAN is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin)
A TOPOLOGIST is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A LAWYER is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
A PSYCHOLOGIST is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A PROFESSOR is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A SCHOOLTEACHER is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A CONSULTANT is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A DIPLOMAT is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in
conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
A BANKER is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An ECONOMIST is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A STATISTICIAN is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
An ACTUARY is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. (Laurence J. Peter)
A PROGRAMMER is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
A MATHEMATICIAN is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. (Charles R. Darwin)
A TOPOLOGIST is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A LAWYER is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
A PSYCHOLOGIST is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A PROFESSOR is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A SCHOOLTEACHER is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.
A CONSULTANT is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
A DIPLOMAT is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.