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Post by WILL on Sept 3, 2012 5:56:15 GMT -7
Personal space-
Right now, we all have imaginary boundaries around us and built into our lives called personal space. We should begin to prepare mentally now for the possibility that our personal space may be radically affected by a disaster. Imagine bugging in with your extended family and whomever else you’ve ended up sharing quarters with in a disaster. Chances are, you’ll be sharing much tighter quarters than you are used to. That translates into much tighter living quarters, much less time alone or being intimate with your spouse, sharing just about everything and little opportunity to get relief from the stressors those living conditions generate. You will also have to cope with the personal issues of others to include drinking, smoking, drug use, foul language, temper issues, ect. That doesn’t even factored in the physical issues that will come up such as disease from such tight quarters combined with reduced hygiene, fleas, lice, bedbugs, hunger, more work on less sleep, no electric to make A/C or heat and the initial catalyst that caused the disaster (whatever huge event that was), ect. I believe cabin fever will be an issue. Anyone have any insight on dealing with this issue. I know from my military experience that your entire mindset has to change in order for you to cope.
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Post by xwing on Sept 3, 2012 6:02:40 GMT -7
We go on "family outings" and having been living several times a year with 90% of our group as a single unit and pretty well well know each others habits and over the years have learned to handle the quirks. as for newsbees....tow the line or become the main course...(just kidding bout the main course thing...mostly.. )
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Post by WILL on Sept 3, 2012 6:08:18 GMT -7
We go on "family outings" and having been living several times a year with 90% of our group as a single unit and pretty well well know each others habits and over the years have learned to handle the quirks. as for newsbees....tow the line or become the main course...(just kidding bout the main course thing...mostly.. ) Good point about the habits and quirks. The little personal ticks that don't bother you much in normal social settings could really begin to push buttons in an extended close quarters situation. Situations where you're forced to be in tight spaces for long periods of time without the opportunity to escape for a re-coop or vent without the person being there.
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Post by thywar on Sept 3, 2012 6:17:40 GMT -7
I definitely think this could/will be a problem. I'm single, live alone and having house guests for more than three days can be bothersome. So if even five people show up (family) here for long term post SHTF then I will have to make adjustments. I'd consider long range recons for 2-3 days just to get away and have some peace of mind... but don't know that they're capable of depending/fending for themselves. They're all older than me.
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Post by xwing on Sept 3, 2012 6:36:41 GMT -7
Thywar buddy, If they can't survive 2 to 3 days while you do a recon in an even semi stocked location, they most likely ain't gonna make it anyway. And if their that inept, their going to be a BIG drain on you...which will affect your survival. My suggestion is if you already identified a problem to be pro-active and work on it Now. Work with these people...slowly...a little at a time and teach them a few things. ...basics. .. they need to be able to do both in your absense and while you are performing more skill based tasks. Just being able to have someone take care of basic in-camp chores is a blessing when when your needed for more critical or complex duties. And it give you quite-time while they busy.. This is how we keep the kids in our pack "occupied "
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Post by Lawdog2705 on Sept 3, 2012 7:03:51 GMT -7
IF, my MIL were to come, she would be one that would be hard to live with. She's one of those, saints one minute and Satan's wife the next!!! As many times as we have butted heads, I still wouldn't want to leave her behind. My true anguish is my own Mother. She's in an Alzheimer's unit under medical care. I struggle with this everyday, what would be the right thing to do. I'm sure most of the staff would leave. She would definitely be a burden but, how do you leave your own Mother behind? My daughter would be able to help a great deal as as nursing assistant. She is already helping with my FIL showing other family members the correct way to lift him up and such. Do others have plans for their elderly family members? As far as personal space, yep, that will be hard. Hubby and I are used to keeping to ourselves and our dogs. We get along as a family. My only other concern is my SIL with his diabetes. Without his insulin, he can become argumentative. Of course, I always tell him to shut up or I'll kick his a$$...lol. He listens to his #2Ma!
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Post by cowgirlup on Sept 3, 2012 7:29:38 GMT -7
Good thread! I am not good at conversation that is basically just chatter to fill empty space. I am pretty sure a house full of nervous and scared people would get on my nerves fast. I already decided if we end up with...guests we are going to have a sit down and lay out some ground rules. One of which is that if I go in a room and close the door then leave me alone! I'm a very calm and patiend person but I need my mental health time. I'm hoping that we can come up with enough for people to do so that it won't be a disaster. I also have games and puzzles on hand to keep people occupied.
If we end up someplace else then it is their place and their rules. If I have some kind of time frame as to when it might end I would be OK. You can get through anything as long as you have some idea of when it might be over. We went on a sail boat for 9 days with 8 other people. Tiny boat, tripping on people everytime you turned around, people fighting. Too many people wanting to boss around the whole group. Kinda like a survival situation At the end of the trip several of our friends just thought I was wonderful company, easy going, never complaining. They said they always want me in their group. Little did they knowI was just counting down the days and I told DH I'm never doing that again! SO a lot of what you feel is in how you percieve the situation and you have some control over that.
Like Lawdog, my most difficult situation would be if the inlaws showed up. I might have to move into the barn.
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Post by missasip on Sept 3, 2012 8:16:02 GMT -7
Good thread! I am not good at conversation that is basically just chatter to fill empty space. I am pretty sure a house full of nervous and scared people would get on my nerves fast. I already decided if we end up with...guests we are going to have a sit down and lay out some ground rules. One of which is that if I go in a room and close the door then leave me alone! I'm a very calm and patiend person but I need my mental health time. I'm hoping that we can come up with enough for people to do so that it won't be a disaster. I also have games and puzzles on hand to keep people occupied. If we end up someplace else then it is their place and their rules. If I have some kind of time frame as to when it might end I would be OK. You can get through anything as long as you have some idea of when it might be over. We went on a sail boat for 9 days with 8 other people. Tiny boat, tripping on people everytime you turned around, people fighting. Too many people wanting to boss around the whole group. Kinda like a survival situation At the end of the trip several of our friends just thought I was wonderful company, easy going, never complaining. They said they always want me in their group. Little did they knowI was just counting down the days and I told DH I'm never doing that again! SO a lot of what you feel is in how you percieve the situation and you have some control over that. Like Lawdog, my most difficult situation would be if the inlaws showed up. I might have to move into the barn. I agree, very good thread. I have pondered this many times. I live alone also and though I'm a social person, if I were to have to take in folks, I would have to have some very marked ground rules. Been married twice and both failed. Her fault, my fault, who knows. BUT, I won't be making the major adjustments again. Everyone will be making adjustments...I will be reasonable, but the rules will be enforced. Not just me needs some space from time to time. Other folks will need their time too. I suspect there will be enough to do with gardening and taking care of ordinary everyday chores to make it a short evening most days and going to bed with the chickens... ;D Jimmy
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2012 8:45:04 GMT -7
Great point WILL...I don't mind folks coming and visiting me, but when they start going through the house, I get a bit aggitated. I don't want anyone seeing what I have or where its at. Guess I need to figure out a way to get over that. That is something I never actually thought about. Crap.
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Post by WILL on Sept 3, 2012 9:00:25 GMT -7
Great point WILL...I don't mind folks coming and visiting me, but when they start going through the house, I get a bit aggitated. I don't want anyone seeing what I have or where its at. Guess I need to figure out a way to get over that. That is something I never actually thought about. Crap. I think this is an issue that will trouble country folks more so than urbanites. We're used to open spaces, quiet, less crowds and more independence.
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Post by olebama on Sept 3, 2012 9:04:41 GMT -7
As long as people can move around the area and get away from each other a little, I don't think we will have any problems. However, if we are confined into the house (winter storm, rain, hurricane, fallout, etc.), I think that is when the problems will arrive.
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Post by cowgirlup on Sept 3, 2012 9:06:34 GMT -7
Great point WILL...I don't mind folks coming and visiting me, but when they start going through the house, I get a bit aggitated. I don't want anyone seeing what I have or where its at. Guess I need to figure out a way to get over that. That is something I never actually thought about. Crap. Along with that line of thinking I just don't like having people in the way. Even when we have people over and someone wants to be helpful I just usually tell them to go sit down because I don't want them going through the kitchen. Putting stuff in the wrong place and in general messing up my plan. I realize I will either have to let go of that bit of control or I'll end up doing everything and wearing my self out and resenting the people in the house.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2012 9:14:40 GMT -7
Great point WILL...I don't mind folks coming and visiting me, but when they start going through the house, I get a bit aggitated. I don't want anyone seeing what I have or where its at. Guess I need to figure out a way to get over that. That is something I never actually thought about. Crap. Along with that line of thinking I just don't like having people in the way. Even when we have people over and someone wants to be helpful I just usually tell them to go sit down because I don't want them going through the kitchen. Putting stuff in the wrong place and in general messing up my plan. I realize I will either have to let go of that bit of control or I'll end up doing everything and wearing my self out and resenting the people in the house. Agreed...I love my organized mess...nothing more eggervating than someone coming along and putting things in the wrong place and then when you want to use it, you have to search for it! GGRRR!!! Or sharing the bathroom...That is something I have not had to do since I was a kid!! Yea...I will definitely have some issues to work on BEFORE they would be a problem for a group.
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Post by angelhelp on Sept 3, 2012 9:25:12 GMT -7
Starting with a duty roster, one can only imagine the resultant squabbling over tasks not repeated often enough to improve one's skill level, tasks repeated so often they're boring/onerous, tasks not completed to someone's satisfaction, nitpicking on the "right" (only?) way to complete a task, frustration over having to suddenly acquire a whole new skill set, frustration/clumsiness over being watched/observed while attempting to complete a task (even if it's easy and been done many times successfully), etc. concerns some of the possible problems with tasks.
Overcrowding or close quarters would magnify minor annoyances, turning them into acts of war. Lack of intimacy due to privacy concerns removes one mental refuge (or regulates it beyond all spontaneity).
A history of being in charge can lead to thinking that one's own ways are the only right ways to accomplish tasks, one's own priorities are the only valid ones, and one's own concerns are the only concerns that need to be considered.
All of this makes me wonder what , after the initial event, would ultimately be responsible for more deaths: disease, starvation, predation (human), or infighting?
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Post by WILL on Sept 3, 2012 9:32:41 GMT -7
Simple stuff like loud snoring or fussy babies can get real old, real fast, and there's not mutch to be done about those issues. And you know people will bring their pets with them.
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